An anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow. ~Author Unknown
My husband and I have been married for 18 years as of December 7th, 2015… together for close to 22.
When I think back to all the stupid arguments over ridiculous things (that seemed like the end of the world back then), I shake my head. I’d like to think that now that we’re older and wiser, we pick our battles, but sometimes, the arguments are sometimes still just as stupid!
However… we have come such a long way.
Recently, we got together with another couple when we were out of town, and this guy was my husband’s best man. There was never any question who the best man was going to be at our wedding, these two were attached at the hip. Best of friends, causing trouble together and even going so far as to create their own language to speak to one another.
There we sat, in their kitchen, as he told us he KNEW, without a doubt, that my husband would be in a very different (bad) place if it were not for me. The wife spoke up and said, “When we were dating, one of the first things he told me about you two was that you would never find another couple so perfectly suited for each other.”
I almost cried right there.
We haven’t always had a lot of support with regard to our relationship, and later, our marriage. This is still something we face, even now, even though we’ve proven that we’re in this for the long haul.
Last summer, when we were in Ottawa, my husband’s cousin told us that she would have no faith at all in love if we ever decided to split up. This blew me away, probably because she’s more than likely witnessed some of the lack of support I mentioned… and still, she feels this way. Wow.
We know this for ourselves, but to hear others voice their support, it means more than our words can ever convey to them.
We’ve gone through our fair share of crap, our share of drama and adversity. I would say that these things have helped us get this far, and hopefully they help us to stay married another 18 years:
- We’ve learned, and are continuing to learn, to appreciate the positive, rather than focus on the negative. If we’re busy appreciating each other (and it’s NOT easy!), we don’t have time to resent the other person.
- We support one another’s hobbies. When I was doing cakes, he was my number one fan (although I think that’s because he was the guinea pig). He’s seen my hobbies come and go, and he’s been on board with each one. He doesn’t really have hobbies, but I encourage him to play his guitar, (after bugging him for six months to change the strings so he COULD).
- We talk. A lot. I think that in order to stay on the same track, and ultimately, that IS the goal, you have to talk to one another, about everything. The past, the present and the future. We like to unload to one another about our hectic days at work, and then we unwind by just being together. Our favourite way to unwind is by watching Netflix!
- Sex. Enough said.
- Check in with one another throughout your day. Send little jokes, memes, tag them in funny things you see on Facebook that makes you think of them. We text each other at lunch.
- We cook together. We work well with each other in our small kitchen, and heaven help the child who enters the kitchen to interrupt our streamlined arrangement! We enjoy talking and catching up during this time.
- We try to keep in touch with as many old friends as we can! These friends have been there for us to remind us how far we’ve come, and to encourage us to keep going forward.
We are a constant work in progress. I’d like to say he is perfect and picks up after himself all the time, but no… although he’s improved A LOT over the years. I’d also like to tell you that I’m more laid back and don’t go postal on him when it’s PMS time… that’s a big HELL NO! But he is my better half… always there when I need him. He is my comic relief, my calm in the storm. I just hope he doesn’t find out what a crappy deal HE’S getting!
We are both very lucky.
Do you have any advice for us?